It Was Only a Kiss Long oneshot
by Cylann
Summary: Tommy comes back from Montana with a new woman on his arm. How does Jude take the startling news? Can she forgive him? This is set partially to Mr. Brightside by the Killers, but deviates from the song.


_I was asked to write a story to a song called mr. Brightside by the Killers on DLS so thought I would share it here as well. It was quite the challenge to use these lyrics in a story, using Jude's POV. ENJOY and please tell me what you think, cuz otherwise it's not so much fun posting on this site._

Feelings that had been closed off for weeks came into her very being again as she saw his familiar face in the distance. He was back. Her Tommy had finally come back after weeks of silence, after leaving her without explanation.

__

Coming out of my cage  
And I've been doing just fine  
Gotta gotta be down  
Because I want it all  
It started out with a kiss

Then she watched as a dark haired woman walked up beside him and slid her perfectly manicured fingers into his hand. Jude blinked in disbelief as her heart, that she had just gotten back, shattered into infinitesimal pieces.

__

How did it end up like this?  
It was only a kiss  
It was only a kiss

She could only stare as his lover slid on the red silk gown over the strapless bra and matching g-string. Her fingers went to his lips to retrieve the cigarette she had placed there and she put it to her own ruby stained flesh to inhale deeply. His hand snaked out and grabbed her by the waist pulling her back down onto his bare chest. Their lips met in another passionate kiss.

_Now I'm falling asleep  
And she's __calling a cab  
While he's having a smoke  
And she's taking a drag  
Now they're going to bed _

Her queasy stomach threatened to disgorge the tiny amount of food she had eaten today. She couldn't remember the last time she had eaten a full meal, probably before he had left for Montana.

__

And my stomach is sick  
And it's all in my head

Jude blinked again and reality shifted back to focus. Tommy stood with the dark haired green eyed beauty hand in hand as he greeted Darius. She stepped backwards only flight clear in her mind. She didn't want to see him or for him to see her. She slid further into the shadows, but her eyes would not look away.

__

But she's touching his chest now  
He takes off her dress now

His callused fingers caressed her ivory skin as he slid the straps off her shoulders. His warm mouth tasted her, causing a shiver to run down her spine. Fingers found the zipper of the sinuous fabric and her blood colored dress slid down, catching on her slim hips, before pooling onto the floor.

His blue eyes found hers in the pool of darkness she hid in, as if he had radar aimed only at her. Her breath caught in her throat and she turned to flee.

__

Let me go

As her salt crusted eyes closed for the night the images once again flooded her thoughts. Two naked bodies writhed upon his tangled sheets. She pressed her lids tightly together, trying to get them out of her head. She finally fell into a restless sleep that left her sadder and emptier than when she had gone to bed.

__

Now I'm falling asleep  
And she's calling a cab  
While he's having a smoke  
And she's taking a drag  
Now they're going to bed

They were both back the following day, before her performance to find the next Instant Star. This time she wore a slim brown suede skirt, white peasant blouse and gold hoop earrings peeped out among her perfectly tousled dark shiny locks, looking sophisticated and casually elegant. Jude's short nails dug into her palms as all she could keep repeating to herself was that, he was not hers...not hers...not hers...Why couldn't he be hers? What did this woman have that she did not? Was it really all about age? He leaned over to brush a kiss against the woman's ear and Jude averted her gaze.

__

Cuz I just can't look  
It's killing me  
And taking control

Jealousy

Somehow there were men's shoes standing in front of her and she stared in wonder at how they had magically appeared. Her gaze slowly traveled up the dark slacks, past the sports jacket and into cerulean blue eyes.

"Not mine." Had she just said that out loud?

Fear. Not hers, but his, was almost tangible in the thick air between them. Her brilliant eyes were shutting down right before him, shutting him out and this time he somehow knew it would be forever. His hand reached out a moment too late, unable to catch the girl who spun around, showing him her delicately arched back as she strode away on sexy champagne heels that matched her silk dress.

"Jude." He called uselessly into the noise of the audience.

She waded into the crowd as she made her way towards the stage. _You know exactly why_. _You know exactly why. You know exactly why._ That had been her sick little mantra to comfort her for all the seconds he had been gone. They had all been lies. The emcee called her onto the stage and she felt them part for her to allow her feet to carry her onto the stage. Her destiny, not him, but the cold impersonal lights. Was this the price she had to pay?

__

Turning saints into the sea  
Swimming through sick lullabies  
Choking on your alibis  
But it's just the price I pay

She tilted her head at an imperious angle and opened her eyes wide, taking in the adulteration of the nameless strangers. Her mask slipped into place. And she opened her mouth to sing with the little bit of heart that had been left, reserved for this. As she had told Darius earlier, she was a professional.

__

Destiny is calling me  
Open up my eager eyes  
Cause I'm Mr. Brightside

-------------------------------------------------------

She sang her new song into the microphone, her face inscrutable as she stared at his best friend. She would not look him in the eye, not once since she had entered the studio. She had done 3 takes and every one had been technically perfect, yet every one was lacking, lacking her essence, every one was impersonal. He tried to find her in the wall of ice she seemed to have wrapped around her like a cocoon.

"Do you even like this song?" He asked sarcastically through the intercom, hoping to provoke a reaction, something, anything but this implacable coldness that made her seem a different person. It scared him more than he cared to admit. Hate he could deal with, her anger he was used to, but this was something else entirely.

"No." She said. "You're fired." She added coolly before she took off her headphones and left the two men staring, in stunned shock, after her departing figure.

"We need to talk." He sat down across from her at the coffee shop she liked to frequent.

"About?"

"I'm sorry." Tommy Quincy never apologized to anyone, but there was no surprise in her eyes. In fact there was nothing, just a careful blankness.

"Fine. Anything else?" She said evenly as she sipped at her mocha latte.

"What is wrong with you?" She finally looked at him and her gaze was a little sad, but nothing else showed through.

"Don't do this Tommy. You'll regret it." She warned him serenely.

"Regret what?" He asked in frustration. Of course he knew coming back with Miranda had probably been a blow to Jude, but she always forgave him, always, no matter what he did to hurt her.

"You want to know the truth? There's nothing wrong with me. I just don't want you in my life anymore."

"How...can you say that?" Jude studied his face and was angry that he could look hurt. He didn't have that right.

"I was in love with you." She admitted unselfconsciously as she continued to drink her coffee.

"Jude..." She knew he was going to say something to dismiss her feelings, so she stopped him.

"Don't worry Tommy. I _was..._Not I am." Tommy felt a huge knot of pain curl in his belly. She was lying. She had to be. She couldn't just turn it off. "Besides why do you care?" She gave him a quizzical, faintly bored expression that had him gritting his teeth.

"You know damn well I care."

"You are a such a liar." She said staring him in the eyes, until he had to look away. "Go away Tommy. Unless you want to tell me why you think you deserve answers when you deliberately stomped my heart into a million pieces."

"Jude I didn't mean..." Jude stood up, scraping the tile floor with her chair and grabbed her bag.

"Don't lie. You did it with intent." In all the years she had known him he had never flaunted his women in front of her, not even a whisper. "But you know what? I don't hate you." She had to squash the gleam of hope that came into his troubled eyes. "I just don't care anymore." She left him then, not for a second knowing the ramifications of what she had just done. For two years she had been like a lifeline for him. She had been the only person to believe in him unconditionally. And how could he explain the truth to her? Especially now when she wouldn't listen to a single thing he said.

Tommy took his phone out and did something he didn't know he had the guts to do. He texted Jude with three simple words and hit send before he could think too hard about what he had just done.

_I love you_

Tommy sat there, the double espresso he had ordered when the waiter had come by, forgotten. His eyes were glued to the phone in front of him, waiting for a reply he was not sure would ever come. She did not disappoint though as his phone beeped with a new message.

_If you find me. We can talk._

She would not make it easy for him, not this time. Jude leaned back on her windshield and stared up at the stars. If he knew her as well as he thought, he'd find her and if not, maybe that was for the best. Then she could say goodbye without feeling like he was 'the one' for her. The cool breeze off the water put goose bumps on her bare arms, but she didn't bother to get her jean jacket from inside the car. She put rested her arms on her belly and turned her head to stare at the lights across the water. Would he show up here? Did she really want him to?

She did not know how long it was before a silent car pulled up beside her Mustang. She did not look over though as she heard the car door open then shut again. A figure climbed onto the hood beside her and she finally turned to see him.

"It's dangerous to be out here at night all alone." He admonished her.

"So what? I don't need you to protect me anymore." He reached his hand out, but she flinched. "Don't."

"I thought we were going to talk Jude." He said a little angry now.

"About what?"

"Us."

"Which us Tommy? Artist, producer. Friends. The 'us' that shares kisses when you're bored?" He flinched at her words. He had expected her to bring up his text to her, not this. Maybe he secretly wished she would just fall into his arms and be his girl again. Why had he assumed even for a second that this would be easy? It was Jude and nothing between them had ever been simple.

"What do you want me to say Jude?"

"How about the truth Quincy? Huh?" She finally said with some feeling, relieving him, even if the emotion was pure anger.

"The truth?" He turned and reached for her, pulling her onto his chest as his lips met hers in a bruising kiss which she resisted at first, but this was Tommy and the hands that pushed at his chest soon weakened. He turned them both so she was underneath him, his mouth drinking in hers as his hands skimmed her outer thighs above her skirt. He felt like a teenager again, with his first groupie, unable to get enough of her soft lips, not knowing what he was really doing. His heart was beating erratically, his hard-on straining against his jeans. The most amazing thing was the way she was kissing him back, making him feel like a gauche school boy.

Her hands slipped from his bare back for the merest second as she raised her hips towards him. He tried to stop her as she wriggled the tiny bit of fabric down her legs, but her mouth was biting down on his neck at that point and he couldn't think clearly, even if a bomb went off. She took his hands and placed them on her bare ass, her knees raised, cradling him between her thighs. He could not fathom the thoughts that flitted across her eyes, for they were dark and pain and desperation, not the sunny, vibrant girl he had come to love. She was drawing him into her web, maybe not consciously, but she was bringing him to a place he could never return from, a place where he could not deny what took place between them. And she didn't care that it shouldn't have been like this, their first time should have been romantic or at least on a bed. She wanted him to suffer like she had been suffering.

Sure hands undid his jeans, and she stroked him through his boxers, causing a groan to escape from the lips pressed against her own. She pretended so well that she knew what she was doing, would the fiction become truth? She took his hard length out of his pants then and started a motion that was making him crazy with need. His hands grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head, against the windshield, while his body pinned her against the cool metal. His insistent arousal nudged against her warm depths and she kissed him with every ounce of skill her limited experience allowed. He thrust into her, not knowing enough to be gentle and although she had been expecting the pain, it still came as a surprise, wringing a small cry out of her swollen lips.

Tommy stared down at her, into stunned eyes that mirrored his own. He had stopped moving, but his body wanted desperately to plunder and take, she wrapped around him so amazingly as if she was made for this, made for him.

"You...The press conference...." He couldn't form coherent thoughts. One part felt utter guilt at taking her this way, the other felt more aroused that he was her first, that he had been the one to claim her. She had always belonged to him, since the first day they had spent here and made that connection. She ignored his attempts to make sense of this situation and raised her hips, pulling him in even deeper.

She didn't care about the pain, because it did not hold a candle to the other pain he had caused her. Her movement was enough to send all thoughts out of his head. He pulled out most of the way, only to push in again and she found she did like the feeling of him inside of her pressing against her inner walls in a way she had never felt before. He was ready to explode, but as he looked into her eyes knew she was not there yet and no matter how badly this had been done, he couldn't leave her thinking that this was all she meant to him.

His movements slowed and his fingers moved between their joint bodies. He touched her intimately, stroking against her most receptive spot as he made shallow thrusts with his hips. Her breath caught as she started to feel the pulsing need he had been experiencing all this time. Jude bit her lip as he spread her lips wide so his body brushed against her on every stroke. He started to move inside of her again, more insistently and she felt sweet pressure low in her body. His mouth moved to her neck to kiss, lick and suck. With every stroke that he made, he brushed against her clit causing small licks of pleasure to travel through her body.

Tommy let go of her wrists finally and linked his fingers through hers instead, still raised on either side of her head. He quickened his pace unable to hold onto control, even to wait for her to come. She quivered underneath him as he pounded into her. Her fingers tightened around his as she felt every press of his body drawing her closer to release. Her gasp and squeezing muscles triggered the rush of his own desire sending him over the edge as well.

When reality returned he lifted himself off of her and smoothed her skirt back down before pulling his pants back up. He looked over at her, still lying in the same spot he had left her. Her eyes were lifted to the sky, taking in the bright stars.

"Why Jude?"

"Because you can't take this back." She uttered softly. The wall was back and his heart was breaking. Desperation had him pulling her resisting body into his arms and kissing her hair, stroking her back as she started to shiver. He felt the dampness against his t-shirt, her hands fisted the material in tight bunches. "Did you mean it?" Came her muffled question against his chest.

"Yes." He answered uncharacteristically, without prevarication. He let out a whoosh of air as a fist smashed into his gut.

"You ass! How could you text that to me?!" She yelled, fire burning bright in her twin orbs as she sat up. As she attempted to punch him again, he grabbed her wrist and held it.

"What the hell do you want from me?!" He shouted at her.

"The truth."

"Fine. I love you! Happy?!" He yelled again, his blood stirred to boiling, as only she could do. She nodded jerkily, as their eyes met and the anger deflated from him just as quickly as it had sprung up. The lap of the water against the pier and their own heavy breathing was all they heard in the still night air. He let go of her wrist finally and his palm cupped the back of her head to pull her towards him. "I love you." He said again, before brushing his lips against hers, in feather light kisses. "Believe me Jude." There were so many reasons she shouldn't trust him, but one reason she would anyway. She stared deep into his familiar sapphire eyes.

"I love you too." She whispered. And he held her against him, and he had her again.


End file.
